healing..

Its been almost a month since I've been trying to collect the shattered pieces of my heart and put it all together. I thought that will be my end..and I was actually offered 2 options..but I chose to move on..

Although I did make a choice..and made my decision to continue..but I still didnt get over it..and whats bothering me is that its memories keep on hunting me in every conversation..every happy thought..every moment spent..I can never forget and let it go..and at the same time..I dont want to hurt in return..I want to get rid of that feeling of wanting to gain my self-worth in any way..even if I had to cause pain..at the moment..nothing will ever satisfy that feeling..nothin will..ever..

I dont want to be that person..I wana be someone who can forgive..and forget..but maybe there are things in life that can never be forgotten..especially if it hits the heart..hits it so hard..I do know that I did forgive..because if I havent..I wouldnt be able to move on..I wouldve found my escape from all of it...but I can never forget..I can never forget..

Those words Ive typed down have been ringing in my head ever since..and what is painful even more than that..is passing that pain to others..what can I do to myself to heal..where can I find my cure..my comfort..my love..my heart..

Please forgive me..I can never forget..