A World Like Never-Never Land

Sunday, April 20, 2008

My sisters

I have grown up, literally, with no role model to look up to. I have grown up, with 3 sisters, but never felt like I had one whom I would share thoughts, dreams, and issues with. I tried to know who they really are through listening to their little chit-chats with their friends, I also read few pages of their very personal diaries, and tried to sneak into their rooms and dig through their stuff. Yes I did all that, just to get familiar with my so-called sisters. They used to think that I was a little spoiled brat who does nothing but fight with her brother or hang around in streets. But the truth was, I knew everything. Every single thing.

I reached a stage where I was the one bossing them around. Do this, do that, don't do this, not that. I reached the point where I was the one giving advices about life and relationships. I felt so mature. In fact, sometimes I didn't like being mature, coz i wanted to make my own mistakes...to live a crazy careless life. But I couldn't coz I saw their mistakes, and I learned. I am still learning.

Now they're married, and my learning hasn't stopped. Their problems are now more serious, and I can't handle it anymore. I just wana ask them to stop for a minute, and remember that im their younger sister, that they should look after me..advise me..point out my mistakes...I can't deal with their issues..i have my own issues to deal with...and im so living a very peaceful life at the moment..but they're ruining it...and I can't take it anymore...you've taken away the dream of my life..and i never blamed you..not for a second..but now..i must stand up and tell you that im sorry..im out of your lives..