......'Inclusion'

I was extremely dissapointed today. Not a single student interested in 'Inclusion' or even bothered to know more about 'inclusive practices'.

I saw Steve at the end of the corridor. "STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE!", I screamed lol. At first, I ignored the two ladies who were accompanied by him. I really miss him being around. He was such a knowledgeable and trusted resource for me. He answered every question I had about Special Ed, and never really tried, even once, to convince me in anyway to get into Special Ed. He layed down the facts related to it. The positive, and negative ones.

We entered a large room full of chairs. Luckily, there were two ladies sitting. An instructor at the College of Ed., and someone who works there as well. All the chairs were empty. The 'inclusive' expert started with "I am happy to be here and share with students................" but Steve stopped her and mentioned the sad fact that there is only ONE student present. Me.

It was such an interesting presentation; or conversation as she called it. It was full of hope, dreams, and future plans. Inclusion IS going to happen someday, but I couldn't stop myself from seeing it a bit far.

Inclusion requires the whole community to be part of it, and to understand it. Understand what it really means and how would it affect students with disabilities themselves, in addition to the ones without disabilities. In order for inclusion to occur, we will need a Special Ed. teacher, teaching assistant, Speech Therapist, Consultant, in addition to the gen. ed. teacher. All working at the same school, same classroom. See why I see it far from happening?

Being a part of Special Education is a struggle, and have always been a struggle to me. Looking out for opportunities was the hardest part. I always think of questions like how long will I be doing volunteer work at special needs centers, or MAYBE working as a teaching assistant ?!

Persueing a career in the area of Special Needs in the UAE is emotionally draining. However, there has always been this thing in me that is very strongly connected to those with special needs. I have a strong feeling about commiting myself and my career life in order to provide them with the maximum involvement in our community to the fullest extent possible. I really hope that I have made the right decision, and that Allah will provide me with the strength and energy to continue in this path.

*Roller Coaster*

What a day..................................................................!

Okay, I haven't been blogging lately, and I figured out that I so miss it! (e7im to some people O=) ) and you know what, I just have an exciting story to type it down right here for me to never forget...and I know I will never do !!

Well, it was a very normal Monday. Jannet is back, with her boring very quiet large class. A presentation after the other, and we were done. One thing I noticed about the artists' presentations was that MOST of them had many psychological issues goin on, and they used Art as some kind of 'therapy' for themselves. There was the one who lost her ability to 'reproduce', another who saw his mother commit suicide, and who lost his sister and mother, and ofcourse the SICK ones.

I ended my day at UNI by praying 9alat el3a9ir, and I headed towards the car.

I entered the car, and EL7IMDILLA said the ad3eya. The driver was driving so fast as usual, and I was so freaked out, but I didn't really mind it coz I had an important online meeting, and I was so busy thinking of it. There was this huge dewwar elle I so hate, and the driver was driving so carelessly. I saw the big truck, and it was so close. Its tires were right into my face. I tried shouting at him asking him to please not turn, but he did. The car spinned like being in some kind of a roller coaster. I was so praying that we won't be hit by another car. The screams of my maid and the driver were even more scary than the spinning itself. She jumped over me and dragged me her way, away from the da3meh. She hugged me so hard like we were going to die. It all happened in one second. ONE second.

I woke up, and found that the car was at the opposite direction of the road. I can see the cars heading towards us like they're riding over us or something. I couldn't talk. I directly took the phone out of the bag and dialed 999. Ofcourse I'm used to it. The shir6e...Jassim...(LOL i memorized his name !) talked to me and I told him about the place of the accident and everything. El7imdilla I was very calm and I did NOT cry. I continued being calm but I wasn't aware of what was going on around me. The maid crying. The driver shouting. A strange guy in the car talking to me. I was very silent.

Afterwards, he came and tried to start a conversation. I tried to tell him that I am fine and 5ala9 stop asking me whether I'm okay or not. He kept on talking and asking talking and asking. I wanted to tell him that I can not talk, I can not listen, I need my mother, and I need my dad. I also thought of my brother whom I haven't seen for a month. I needed him as well. I just had to see him or talk to him. My mother called and as soon as I heard her voice I felt so weak. I cried and cried. She cried with me as well.

Ofcourse el7imdilla eddenya ba3adha b5air. If it wasn't for that very respectful person, and his extremely nice sister, I wouldnt have come home by 5. She was a very nice lady who talked to my mother and tried to calm me down and make me forget about it. She had very adorable little girls who were laughing and talking to me the whole time. They played with my sheila and bag seeking my attention and smiles !

Back home, phew. But hey, I haven't cried MUCH. I mean I had to cry and release whats in me! I saw my little sister and I started crying and crying until I felt better.

Awwal mawe9alt elbait, I prayed 3ala6ool. El7imdilla for everything. El7imdilla I did not get hurt. El7imdilla I reached home. El7imdilla I am still alive.

I took a bath and rested for a while. I tried to remember what happened and just think of it carefully. What was I thinking of when it happened ? Who was on my mind. Ofcourse it was my family. I saw all their faces. My mother, father, sisters, and brothers.

Life is beautiful, with nice people around . People you never knew, and never even seen in your life, who would just come out from no where and offer help, expecting nothing in return. Strangers who would spend their time and calm you down, and make sure that you reach home safely.

SLEEP ?!

I just left my public speaking class. I've been talking to myself ever since =S

I mean a persuasive speech about "Sleeping" !! I know 'some people' will go like 9IDG POLAR BEAR.............................

I so hated myself standing up there in front of the class..la wmsawya powerpoint ba3ad =S about what ?! YES....sleeping

While presenting, I can feel that there is a BIG L on my forehead standing for LOSER or LAME lol

All of my previous speeches were really good. The gurls gave me those WOW looks and very sweet comments about how well I did ! This time, I finished up, lowered my head, and went back to my seat. I did not want to hear any comment about how I did.

I know I'm taking it too personally. I'm being over sensitive about it. Its only a freakin public speaking class. Why can't I go like WHO CARES..I wasn't in the mood for that...and just forget about it ????? like normal human beings.

The teacher mentioned that there will be a 'redo' speech for that. A light bulb appeared above my head. But I so don't want to do it all over again :( It just felt that the teacher was actually referring to me when he gave us another chance. He noticed how pythatic my speech was compared to what I really could've done. I mean come on, I am ms.I-LUV-ARGUEING and convincing...why did I find this stupid speech D-I-F-F-I-C-U-L-T

Anyways, an hour passed since my last class. I was feeling down about it. Another thing added to it was losing my project that I've been working on since a month. It has all the results, important findings, scores, scales....etc. I was depressed about me not being responsible enough to keep my own stuff with me.

HOWEVER---------turning point----------I entered my second class, and I found my precious project sitting on the desk, waiting for me to pick it up. Imagine ! its been waiting for me since a WEEK ago *shock* lol FINALLY...I was able to smile =D

"In conclusion": nothing is worth the *frown* on the face. Keep smiling. Things will hopefully get better :)