A World Like Never-Never Land

Monday, October 30, 2006


Mbarkin 3eedkm !

I am back since three days ago, and I so miss el Ba7rain already. A lot of people ask me "Shu feeha el Ba7rain?" It might seem to others that it is an ordinary petitte island, with a bunch of people who speak in a weird funny way.

It is special.

Fel Ba7rain, I get the chance to feel how is it like to have a "Family". What it means, how it feels, and I can relate myself to my surrounding. I can say; "Yeah, we're cousins." And not "Well, my father is her mother's cousin who is BLA's cousin the daughter of BLA."

Above all, I get to see a very special lady. She was always eager to gain as much knowledge. She valued her family. She never considered money as important. She sacrificed her life for the sake of her nine children. They all continued their education, and has become husbands and wives, parents, and grandparents. Until this moment, she takes care of them, as well as their children.

She inspires me in every story she tells. Sometimes I feel that I can see myself in her. I look into her eyes and I can tell that she went through a lot of pain. What provided her with all that strength is her connection with Allah that she always tries to strengthen. She never left the qur'aan and her prayers. She never stopped the du'aa for us. She holds us all together and tries to keep us under one roof. Hand by hand.

You made me look at people from a different perspective. You taught me how to respect others and never under estimate any person. You taught me how to give and never expect anything in return.

I miss you. I always leave you with a feeling that I might not see you after one year. 365 days that I'll be counting. That feeling hurts so much. "Kil sina etyoon, wta5thoon galbi, wterji3oon..."

I left with tears.

Allah y5alleech lena inshallah =)

Tuesday, October 17, 2006


yes, I'm ANGRY ! What kind of University is this ! It is
4.extreeeeeeeemely COLD & HOT AT THE SAME TIME

I mean it took me like two freakin hours to look for a teacher who hasn't been replying on my e-mails for the past two days ! I do NOT know anyone in this class in order to "Ask"...AND I really need to finish this psychological report before the deadline coz guess what ?! I'm traveling and I have no time for assesments and observations.............................

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 [breathe in..breath out]

okay, now I'm feeling better. Annita..I need you =S Hope she replies back today...I wana get done with it =@

Now its time for the...most...boring...class...ever ! Learn about how to: USE MS-WORD ! The good news is I'm graduating in few months and I already know what needs to be learned about Word..

2 hours. 120 minutes. 7200 seconds. And the countdown shall start.

Monday, October 16, 2006

Countdown: 6 Days

Wow...its already the 24th of Ramadan...Its hard to believe. Twenty-four days have passed since the beginning of Ramadan. A month that I look forward to every year. What have I done ?! Hmmm..I might give myself some credit for:

  • khatm the quraan twice
  • go back to NOT listening to songs
  • going to a number of Islamic lectures
  • getting used to praying the taraweeh, sunan, shaf3-watr, and al-dhuha prayer
  • re-evaluate my life and focus on what needs to be changed to match what Allah has called upon
  • du'aa & al-tawba
  • try to wake up for al-fajir prayer every morning

To me, Ramadan is an opportunty to re-new commitment towards Allah, as well as re-astablish my relationship with our Creator. The freaky part is that Ramadan days pass really fast that you feel YOU HAVE NO TIME, and every year it passes even faster!

I always live Ramadan days as if it is the last Ramadan that I migh live. A time, when sins are forgiven. A time, when prayers and du'aa are even more stressed on. A time when you not only evaluate your connection with Allah, but you evaluate youself as a person, your beliefs, goals, and achievements.

I'll miss these days. I felt the comfort and relief in every second I spent between the hands of Allah, and inshallah I receive the strength and power to continue following the right path. The path that holds all the good for me and my future. The path that I trust and accept, whether happiness or sadness awaits me.

Finally, after these six days are over, Inshalla its gonna be EID time =) I am so looking forward to it, since I am traveling to Bahrain to celebrate it with my family. I miss them a lot. Of course there will be a LONG HIGE FAT post about this trip coz I've been counting the days to travel and see my grandmother, after one year of fraag ="( Love you mommy Shaikha...

اللهم إنا نسألك زيادة في الدين ، وبركة في العمر ، وصحة في الجسد ، وسعة في الرزق ،وتوبة قبل الموت ، وشهادة عند الموت ، ومغفرة بعد الموت ، وعفوا عند الحساب ، وأمانا من العذاب ، ونصيبا من الجنة ، وارزقنا النظر إلى وجهك الكريم ،

اللهم ارحم موتانا وموتى المسلمين واشفي مرضانا ومرضى المسليمين ، اللهم اغفر للمسلمين والمسلمات والمؤمنين والمؤمنات الاحياء منهم والاموات ، اللهم ارزقني قبل الموت توبة وعند الموت شهادة وبعد الموت جنة ، اللهم ارزقني حسن الخاتمة ، اللهم ارزقني الموت وانا ساجد لك يا ارحم الراحمين ، اللهم ثبتني عند سؤال الملكين ، اللهم اجعل قبري روضة من رياض الجنة ولا تجعله حفرة من حفر النار ،

اللهم اني اعوذ بك من فتن الدنيا ،اللهم اني اعوذ بك من فتن الدنيا ، اللهم اني اعوذ بك من فتن الدنيا ، اللهم قوّي ايماننا ووحد كلمتنا وانصرنا على اعدائك اعداء الدين ، اللهم شتت شملهم واجعل الدائرة عليهم ، اللهم انصر اخواننا المسلمين في كل مكان ، اللهم ارحم ابائنا وامهاتنا واغفر لهما وتجاوز عن سيئاتهما وادخلهم فسيح جناتك، والحقنا بهما يا رب العالمين ،

وبارك اللهم على سيدنا محمد صلى الله عليه وسلم

Monday, October 09, 2006


"When the first baby laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies."

I never believed in faries, but I think J.M. Barrie's Peter Pan have always made me think of those beautiful tiny creatures who were presented in his play as a beam of light. A kind of light that we all can only see once we are down, depressed, in a seek for a little hope.

The world of Never-Never Land, thats what I really wana start with.

Wendy: Where do you live now?
Peter: With the lost boys. They are the children who fall out of their prams when the nurse is looking the other way. If they are not claimed in seven days they are sent far away to the Never Land.

Would I consider living in Never-Never Land ?! Well..there are two sides of that...I NEVER wana be lost in the age of 7 days !! but ofcourse..living in a Land where you will be destined to live an enternal childhood is an interesting thought. Living as a child, as innocent and pure, away from this world that is full of wars, natural disasters, car accidents, family seperations and divorces, death, lies, greed, and the lists go on..and on...

Never-Never Land is not necessarily as described by Barrie. We all have a childish side of us, living in us. I visit MY Never-Never Land at some times. While I'm teaching the cute little kiddos in the KG class, and with the petitte ones in the family. You wouldn't have to worry about how they might look or think of you, coz they still haven't been brainwashed with "the" bad thoughts. they havent faced the real world, yet.

My Never-Never Land. My world.