New World

"It's students like you who make us proud"--Chris Coughlin

Today I graduated.

I had in mind a very different feeling than what I'm experiencing right now. Whenever I decide that this is my last day at uni, I search for something so that I could show up again at the entrance of the College of Education, Wing C: "your 2nd home..."--Renee Taylor

I feel so confused and I don't really feel like typing down paragraphs describing how much I'm gonna miss my 2nd home, and most importantly "the best teachers in the world"--Ronald Brown. What I wana do instead is copy-paste parts of the speech that I didn't get the chance to do on my mini-graduation ceremony! Not for a specific reason, but I don't think I was ready for it...I guess It feels different now..The feeling I was experiencing back then (when I wrote it for my Public Speaking) was different than what I'm experiencing at the moment. Now that it is TRUE. And just before I do that..Bookworm..i just wana say few words!

The moment I saw you at that club meeting, I knew you were very special. And you turned out to be even more special than I thought you were. I have faith in you and I so believe in what you can achieve. I can understand how hard it is to be part of Education, especially in our country. But I guess we can make the change that can affect others and their future. We are the change!
Thank you for being my friend and sister. Thank you for being there for me whenever I needed you. Thank you for looking after the club and turning it into such a great club that is well-known for its creativity, and changing the idea of having Education=BOREDOM. You've done so much, and I am very proud of getting to know someone like you. It's a blessing. And I do know that you're someone I will never want to lose contact with EVER! You made this day memorable because you showed up and became part of it =)

"It was so overwhelming to transfer from a place where I studied for fourteen years around the same people, into a totally different place where I saw few familiar faces. It is a transition, I thought, and now I realize it was worth it. "

"The only thing I did not learn yet is how to miss being at --University. I’ll miss being around the most respected and sincere professors. I’ll miss being around unique friends, and those whom I can refer to as one of a kind. I’ll miss going through the self-discovery experience and decision-making, which will always continue throughout my life. The only difference this time is that I will be alone. "

"make sure that you hold on to those memories and cherish them. Make sure that you build on those memories to make up the most valuable experience ever. Use every opportunity you can to prove yourself and what you are capable of. And most importantly, believe in who you are, and follow your dreams to the extremes. I will not say the sky is your limit, since there are no limits of what one can do."

"إن تعليم الناس و تثقيفهم في حد ذاته ثروة كبيرة نعتز بها، فالعلم ثروة، و نحن نبني المستقبل على أساس علمي"

الشيخ زايد بن سلطان آل نهيان -رحمه الله-

"Educating people and providing them with knowledge is a great wealth that we are proud of. Education is a wealth and we build our future on an educational base."--Sheikh Zayed Bin Sultan Al Nahyan (May Allah Bless his Soul)

Next?!

Tomorrow I'm supposed to be submitting the very last project. The really really really last final one EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRR. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!! FINALLLLLLLYYYYYYY IM DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

I want to sound like I'm happy about it. I'm not!

So tomorrow I'll be officially publishing the first edittion of "My Book" =D Actually I'll be submitting 5 coppies, which is like 5 BOOKs! With my name on each. It looks cool.

I've always enjoyed written work: essays, researches, bla bal bla. The ones with lots of words and letters. Its my thing! I can't imagine how would it be like to NOT do that anymore. I think I'll go crazy until I decide to continue my Masters.

Anyways...maybe I do deserve a break by now. 14 years in school + 4 years in UNI=18 years of studying. Now if I calculate the time I spent taking care of myself it would be 20 years of my life and 9 months-18 years of studying= 2 years and 9 months of being taken care of. Ofcourse I need to subtract all the time that my BROTHER stole my parents from me since he was the spoiled little boy. Hmmm It might turn out to be 9 months! It makes me feel better to think of it this way. Yeah..I might deserve a short break. Perhaps a very short one.

Thats it. My final work to be submitted Insha'Allah =) Atmanna from all my heart that this work does really represent all my effort during the past 4 years. I really hope that it turns out to be worth all the lonely breaks, the time spent in the library, feeling like an outsider, my failure in group works. I want it to be the BEST!

I'm so glad my cuzin is coming from Qatar. Such a pleasant surprise on my first day of the VACATION! I miss her so much. Even if I won't get to spend much time with her, just the fact that I'll see her DOES make a difference.

Au revoir ZU...

Thoughts

My capstone looks pretty good, although I wish I kinda preformed my research on a bigger scale. Only if................................bass el7imdilla !! I guess a "bigger-scale" one would turn out to be more than a 100 pages...so the 50 pages one is not that bad =P

Hmmm...tomorrow...I really need to go back to school and take my 5th interview...and to give out the chocolate that I had bought for them! And and and..oh yeah I need to copy my pictures that Aida took of me...and ofcourse..I really wana see the children and the teachers!

I've been thinking today of my Summer plans. Since I would end up staying here, I really wana use my time in something 'productive'. Awwal ma I get the transcript I'm gonna send out my CVs to every option I have right now:

• The Ministry schools
• Private schools
• DEC
• Takamul 'again'

Limited options =S but I do believe that Insha'Allah I will be accepted in the place that holds all the good for me, even if it took a while. I truely believe in that.

After the CVs thing, I'll have to continue my French classes. I also want to go back to the gym. I need to fix my room and make sure that everything is complete. Then, it's Madness's wedding!!! *excited*. And YEAH I asked ms.Bookworm to help me prepare a "Reading List" =D emmmmmmmmmm I wana buy some books in special ed. Then I have my cuzin's wedding. Then my sister's new baby arrival. I guess thats a brief of my Summer for this year! I hope it turns out to be a useful one.

One thing that has been on my mind lately is my mother's uncle's recent death. I know it might sound that we're not really that related, but he is like my mother's father. The father who raised her and her 7 siblings. Seems like such a hard job for him, especially since he's not really the father. I wana write about him coz I'm afraid that I might forget him someday. Although it's hard to forget his sweet smile and laughter. His long white beard that always smelled like dihin 3ood. How he used to tease us in English (imagine an old man speaking English?!). How I sat on his laps when I was a child and turned his beard into braids using my hairclips. How I used to get so frustrated on Eid's day coz I had to put on a skirt instead of a trouser, because it would make him so angry. He really loved having us around him.

My mom just came back from his 3eza, and told me many stories that happened over there. All their family members gathered; the ones they have never seen since AGES. They discovered new relatives. The differences between them and the "other" half of the family. Another thing I never new was how well-know he used to be. Not for his money or wealth, but for his relegious and caring personality. His smile was also written about in their newspapers and forums. I knew he had a special smile. We all saw that smile in him.

I was also amazed by the story of his death. He was in the hospital for the past couple of weeks. Before he died, he insisted to go back home. He sat with his granddaughter and asked her to read with him qur'aan. Seb7anAllah. He read Yaseen, AlMulk, AlKahf, and Alfatiha for 7 times, and then he closed his eyes. Never opened them again. Hours before his death, his sister came to visit him. She thought he was asleep.

My uncles described how he looked like when he was dead. They said it weirdly changed to turn younger and younger. It was white and round with red cheeks. He looked like a 16 years old. He was very tall and not heavy at all. People from all around Bahrain were there the moment he was burried. Allah yir7ama. I'm so glad to know that he was not only loved by us. But loved and respected by his own people. I'm sure they'll miss him too.

Death is very hard to accept, especially when it's someone you know and care about. It's like your loved ones disappear, knowling that you'll never get to see or hear their voices again. You just wish if you were to spend one more minute with them...or you regret the times that you missed being around them...

Allah yijma3na Insha'Allah at a better place...feljanna =)

The End =)

It took me a while to realize the kind of feelings im going through...i guess i took this internship more seriously than I was supposed to...I was just too SAD to leave that gate..especially with Raven following me saying "..don't go home..why are you going home.."

My heart was aching that morning..not because I wanted to go back to sleep..but this time it was because of waking up at 6:00 for the last time! At least for now.

I went into the school and acted as if im staying for 10 more weeks. I wanted to void the whole WE WILL MISS YOU thing and the hugs that come with it. Obviously, I had to tell the children that it was my last day, but it was hard for me to spit it out! So Aida did it instead, and their reaction made it even worse. Didn't cry..YET !

It was such a lovely day with the kids. I played around with them, we laughed together, we painted, and read stories. It was lovely until Aida decided to prepare SURPRISE for me..the second I was asked to leave the class in order for the kids to prepare themselves for the surprise was the exact moment I started to shed tears...especially since no one was around!

While I was waiting..I started rewinding the tape to my very first day...March 18th...its hard to describe the feelings I experienced until May 25th...I'm glad I kept those feelings saved in my blog coz I'll always want to go back to readthose beautiful memories I have of K1 Yellow.

THEN...i was asked to step into the classroom for the surprise! Just looking at those cute little angels sitting down so quietly and excited about the "I love you" song was so touching. I couldnt hold myself from crying, and laughing at the same time coz the kids looked so confused about seeing their teacher cry while they were singing happily! lol They gathered around me after it was over and asked me to stop crying and started hugging me (isn't that CUTE?)

Listen to the NOT cute part! about whom? YES...MOHAMMED...after the hugz were over I realized that there was one child missing! It was him...I approached him and I saw his very sad face looking downwards..I expected him to say something nice, but he was like "I DON'T LIKE HUGGING YOU................" lol Oh and he did mention earlier that he didn't like me...Although that was MEAN...but I do understand Mohammed by now =) he is such a unique spoiled little boy..

My day ended with those hugs I'll never forget. I fell in love with each and every single one of them. They all touched me in different ways. I'm not sure if thats how every intern teacher felt like in the very first teaching experience, but in my case, it surely did affect me. I wonder if May 25th, 2007 is actually my last day at that school. There might be more days to come.